from the depths of the chasm

Stolen from some site with dodgy popups and strange porno ads.

Five days a week, my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park.

That’s irrelevant, and irrelevant never forgets.

Learn Spanish! Jesus is coming.

Apathy: I could take it or leave it.

If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.

There’s no right way to eat a Rhesus.

If life gives you peanuts, make peanut butter.

Beer is now cheaper than gas. Drink, don’t drive!

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I synced my iPhone today to my computer, after a few days of non-sync-edness. Overnight I’d found 2 double ups in my contacts - My boss, and another work colleague. I had them in once with their firstname only, and one with their full name but also with more details like email addresses/etc. 

When syncing my phone Address Book popped up saying ‘A significant number of your contacts have been altered’… Well, thanks Apple for belittling the amount of friends I have. I’ll go sit in my corner now.

Got sent this the other day. I’m kind of impressed by how accurate it can be at times.

:)

I seem to be very familliar with the “swing laying on the floor” system mechanism.. Hrm.

Anyway, want to read my evil plan?

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: Love (Yes, it works)

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first clone a rock star. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, confused by your arrival. Who is this evil genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as an evil twin/opposite?

Stage Two

Next, you must disintegrate the internet. This will all be done from a abandoned church, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of computer programmers hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must reveal to the world your time machine, bringing about pain, suffering, the usual. Your name shall become synonymous with sheer dementedness, and no man will ever again dare refuse to be your prom date. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to send you all their money.

Yo bama's obama wins fo shizzly dizzlyzz...

Will forever be archived in Wikihistory

The universe started in 1970. Anyone claiming to be over 38 is lying about their age.

As evidence here: